Confessions of an Anonymous Coward

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

One Foot Out of the Closet

No, I haven't abandoned this blog; I've just been really busy lately. I had three different projects I was filming last week, including one three-day shoot in Ventura. (I don't want to make it sound like I'm having more success at my acting than I am, though...for one thing, I'm not usually this busy; it just happens that these three projects all happened to converge in one week. Also, these are student projects and low-budget movies, which means credits for my resume and footage for my reel but little or no actual money...)

Anyway, I've gotta go somewhere tonight, too, so this is going to be a short post, but there's something I've been meaning to post about...something that happened just the day after the Skeptics' Book Club meeting that factored into my previous post, in fact. ( other words, it happened three weeks ago. Yeah, I'm way behind on my posting.)

I went to a PFLAG meeting.

Someone had suggested that in a comment to the post I made where I admitted I was gay, and I decided I might as well try it. Maybe it would help me come to terms with things. I looked for a local chapter online, and after being unavailable to find a meeting time for the chapter that seemed it would be the easiest to get to from my apartment (PFLAG San Fernando Valley, which I later discovered was at least temporarily defunct), I ended up going to a meeting of PFLAG-LA.

Nothing earthshattering happened there; I didn't have any important revelations. But it does mark the first time I openly admitted to anyone (without hiding behind the mask of anonymity) that I'm gay. And I guess that may be an important step. For the record, it's not like I don't have any friends that I'm sure would have accepted me had I told them...but, you know, it's not exactly something that's easy to work into a conversation. "Hi, how you doin'? Yeah, well, I just called you up to tell you I'm gay..."

So. I'll probably go to this month's meeting, too. I don't know exactly what I expect to get out of it, but it can't hurt. And anyway, being able to openly talk about my homosexuality at least in one specific setting is, I think, bringing me one step closer to being ready to come out with all of this (my homosexuality and my atheism) completely...


At 9/06/2007 10:02 PM, Anonymous judy Wyatt said...

You've been making these steps since you started the blog. Good for you! :-)

At 9/07/2007 12:15 PM, Blogger vjack said...

Very cool. I hope the PFLAG experience continues to be positive. I'll be interested in hearing more about what the coming out experience is like.

At 9/12/2007 5:24 PM, Blogger Ross said...

I feel bad now that I haven't been keeping up with your blog more studiously. It takes a lot of courage, so-called "coward" or not, to admit to what you have and not live a lie, especially considering your upbringing. I've often wondered which my dad would have preferred, that I stay a Christian and turn out to be gay, or stay straight and turn out to be an atheist. I'm pretty sure it's the latter, and when I told him I was an atheist, he confirmed it by saying, "At least you're not a vegetarian, and you like women." Yeah, I come from sophisticated stock.

Being born into the Mormon family you were, it's a double-whammy that you were also born with high intelligence and same-sex preference. If there is a God - it's clear that he hates you.

Luckily, there is no God. And, as one of the people who know you in real life, I can only say that I respect you all the more.

At 9/22/2007 7:28 PM, Blogger Zeno said...

Good luck, guy. It's got to be harder to out yourself twice, once for being gay and once for being an atheist. You're showing real fortitude. Bravo!

At 9/26/2007 8:42 AM, Blogger King Aardvark said...

Hey, are you a vegetarian? Ross is right, that could make it even worse ;-)

Anyway, since you haven't posted in a while, I hope you're doing alright and all the low budget movies aren't hurting your psyche (and wallet) too badly.

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